she looked like the before picture.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
