He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
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Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
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When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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