I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
