Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
