i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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