somebody snuck up and got me drunk
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
