Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
