We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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