Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
