he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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