Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
