I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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