I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
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