careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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