I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize