All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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