Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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