Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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