No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
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