i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
