just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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