he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
