It's just like the Real World with babies
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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