all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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