that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
