do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
