the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
