I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
How does one acquire holy water?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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