hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
