So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
