so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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