So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
