Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize