Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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