remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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