is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
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