I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
