You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
