it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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