The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize