I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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