you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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