Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.

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(805): View more from California

I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?

(1-805): View more from California

Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit

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(850): View more from Florida

My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...

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(972): View more from Texas

He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?

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(210): View more from Texas

You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Why are you naked at 4pm?

(1-307): View more from Wyoming

Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes

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