This show inspires me to have sex in space
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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