I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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