i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
