What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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