I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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