OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
