this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
