bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
