I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
