I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize