He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
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No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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