I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
