Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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