are you still at the devil's house?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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